Monday, January 31, 2011
Seems like men’s talk but ladies are welcome, sincere ones though. Guys, this is our familiar terrain. Have you been in that sorry situation where your “kid sister” or “aburo” seem to have struck a romantic chord in you? Or let’s put it this way, have you ever fallen in love with a girl that everyone sees as your kid sister – especially the one that also sees herself as your kid sister even when you’re not in any way related? Just for reasons like you being her senior in school, or “we were neighbors 20 years ago, we attend the same church, I met you through my elder brother/sister” or even reasons as silly as “you and my older brother look alike” or “we are from the same place”. Don’t you sometimes want to say “Hey young lady, I know my kid sister when I see her”?
The definition and depth of incest may vary per culture but asking your friend’s younger sister, your younger sister’s friend, your mum’s friend’s daughter or the girl next door out on a date is definitely not an act in that direction. Please do not get the idea that I am using this medium to encourage you to damn the consequences and start toasting her! I know how you feel for we have all been there at some point and trust me; I know it is not funny. It is easier when there is a little “long time no see” situation, then you suddenly see that “haha the little baby of yesterday has become a lady, where have you been all my life, which school are you now? What are you studying? …Wow, wonderful (even if she studies Traditional Medicine), what a brilliant course, you know I scored A1 in Agric science back in the days, so nice to see you after so many years, so grown up… wow, great, splendid, na wah o, eeya…”
It is really not nice if you do not ask her how Dad and Mum are but you may have blown what you have going in your favor. Reason? She suddenly realizes that you are supposed to be Broda Bonnyface and not the cool dude she can hang out with.
Love is a beautiful thing, it has its bitter-sweet taste and no matter what side of it we experience per time, we still end up needing a little bit of it in our lives. Is there love unacceptable or love unusual? Well, I have no answers for this is not a counseling session. So I cannot say what should be done but I just know what I would do or let’s say what has worked for me. When you start feeling attracted to your “sister”, one of the biggest fears is what if she has a boyfriend and says NO to you. If that happens, you get embarrassed and start feeling she now thinks you are no more worthy of being called “brother”. If you however get lucky and the feeling is mutual, it has its own embarrassment too when you suddenly turn from “brother Taaju” to TJ just a day after she says yes to you but at least you will thank your guts you’re not turning to TJ after she had given you a capital NO.
Ladies, this is my candid feeling, most times real men know when you are down but just forming “hard to get” so just cut d drama and be real. Why do you make things difficult for yourselves and us especially, your big bros? Do you like wahala that much? One thing is sure though, and that is the fact that if a lady acts rude or suddenly becomes impertinent because you express a romantic feeling for her then she is just another girl with a myopic view of life that shouldn’t have been worthy of being “your sister” in the first place and you may be better off just deleting her from your memory and accepting your bad gamble. A mature girl will see such peculiar fate and appreciate it even if the answer is inevitably NO for good reasons, that way the friendship lives on and sometimes gets even better and you become best friends as a result. It is important for us to know there are usually situations when you will have to help such lady conquer the skepticism about what people will say and I don’t think any guy that wants to date his “sister” will not know how to help her up. Patience is the name of the game but she had better be worth the trouble for some people will still see incest.
Now, all success is still subject to your character, you will still be judged practically at some point even if you enjoy the brotherly waiver for a while and it is usually very bad when you cause such relationships to fail as many other relationships suffer with it. So if you are the area brother that has been sexually notorious to the knowledge of all the little girls around or you have sampled all the girls on your street, church choir, youth fellowship and alasalatu, then do not consider yourself part of this, for different is your place among men.
Best of luck to you in this month of love, as you plan to meet her for that showdown talk you’ve kept since her high school days; at least you didn’t get to have it on December 31st! That is so old skool.